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Get to Know Torx Media: Chris Edition 2022

Posted on February 2, 2022 by Christopher Rhines

Torx Media Partner Chris Rhines

When I first considered doing another one of these “Get To Know You” blog posts, I didn’t think enough time had passed since the last time I wrote one…2 years? 3 years? Nope. It’s been FIVE flippin’ years already since I answered these silly questions. No need to recycle old questions though. Here are 20 new ones!


What was your first job?

Technically, my first job was as a paperboy. But other than a random ankle-biting dog here and there, that job was fairly uneventful. My next job though was working at a driving range. Most of my responsibilities revolved around driving that little vehicle that picks up all the golf balls that customers launch out into the driving range. I was a moving target, and I loved it. Fully secure behind a thin layer of chicken-wire caging, and unbeknownst to my boss, I could regularly be found driving a little bit too close to the golfers so I could taunt them into aiming for me. I like to think I helped sell a few extra buckets of balls during those driving range years.


How would your 10-year-old self react to what you do now?

I’ve always been a nerd about computers. And while running a digital marketing agency is much more marketing than it is computer programming, I still find myself plucking away on a computer all day long. I taught myself several flavors of Basic when I was in elementary school, and some of those core programming concepts still pop up now and then when I’m in the trenches working on highly-customized PHP/MySQL projects. So I feel like my 10-year-old self wouldn’t be too incredibly surprised that I ended up where I am.


What’s the last thing you purchased on eBay?

My most recent eBay purchase was a low-grade 1952 Topps Granny Hamner baseball card. I’m a big Philadelphia Phillies fan, and I’m currently trying to find every Phillies Topps baseball card between 1952-2021. As a kid, I loved collecting baseball cards. And as an adult, I love being able to purchase some of those slightly-more-expensive cards that I couldn’t afford as a wee lad. Thankfully I’m not a Yankees fan, because this one would be VERY difficult to acquire.


What fast food restaurant has the best chicken sandwich?

I’ve found myself trying quite a few chicken sandwiches ever since the big Popeye’s craze from a few years ago. And that craze was legitimate because I actually do place Popeye’s chicken sandwich above all others. Zaxby’s is a very close second, and the O.G. Chick Fil A #1 and Hot Chick are next in line. KFC ain’t bad, and even Hardee’s chicken sandwich wasn’t too shabby. Wendy’s and McDonald’s are further down the list. Burger King’s chicken sandwich is trash. (Can’t go wrong with the Whopper though!)


What book are you currently reading?

I am almost finished with Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman. I’ve seen this book described as an “urban fantasy”, whatever that means. I’ve also read some of his other novels such as American Gods and The Ocean at the End of the Lane. I just happen to enjoy his style and the WEIRD worlds that he invents.


What is your favorite guilty-pleasure song, artist, or genre of music?

I suppose the answer to that question is simply pop music in general. If a song bops, it bops… and I don’t care who the artist is, or if they’re “in” or not. I may or may not have created a Spotify playlist that contains a bunch of jams from the following folks: Spice Girls, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore, Jessica Simpson, Backstreet Boys, Nsync, Jennifer Lopez, Black Eyed Peas, Ricky Martin, Savage Garden, and S Club 7.


What’s on your ultimate travel bucket list?

Unrealistic answer: Mars or the moon. But because I was born several years too early, I suppose I’ll have to settle for somewhere on this planet. The realistic answer is Japan. Other than a handful of Caribbean islands, I really haven’t had opportunities to travel abroad. And before I get too old to enjoy myself, I would love to experience the wild culture shock of visiting Tokyo and some other parts of Japan. But for now, if I need a Japan “fix”, I’ll just go watch Lost In Translation for the 100th time.


Do you believe in ghosts?

Nope. That’s silly. But I do have dreams about ghosts sometimes. Here’s the weird thing about those dreams… When I’m fully awake, if I think back to those weird ghost dreams, I can give myself goosebumps just by thinking it. Is that normal? Yes? No? Do I need to go talk to the nice people in the white coats?


What’s the first thing you do after getting home from work?

I pet the kitties! My wife, Jennifer, and I just adopted two little furballs named Archie and Baxter. They spend half of their days running around like crackheads and the other half cuddling on our laps. They are absolutely spoiled, and we wouldn’t change a thing about that.


What’s the last thing you do at night?

I fall asleep.


Where’s the best place to get a cheesesteak in Philadelphia?

If you’ve known me for more than 2 seconds, you probably already know that I’m PASSIONATE about my Philly cheesesteaks. Pat’s? Geno’s? Get outta here! Those are tourist traps. The best place to get a Philly cheesesteak is actually just a little bit of a drive outside of Philly-proper. From Philadelphia, hop on 76 West and head up to Conshohocken. Get off at Plymouth Meeting, get on Germantown Pike, take a right on 202, and make your way to Pudge’s Steaks and Hoagies in Blue Bell, PA. Tell them I sent ya. They’ll say, “Who?” And then you’ll say, “Nevermind. Just give me a CHEESESTEAK, man!” You’re welcome.


What’s the dumbest way you’ve been injured?

Several years ago I pulled a hammy playing racquetball. That’s not the dumb part, because racquetball is 50% running around and 50% injuring oneself. It’s expected. Here’s the dumb part of the story. After a couple of weeks of healing, I happened to be playing with our cat, Cassie…. play-chasing her around the house and whatnot. I turned a corner too quickly, and my leg slid out from underneath me, re-injuring the same hamstring that was almost fully healed. Ta-da!


What is the biggest misconception people have about your profession?

We ARE a digital marketing agency. We do NOT do IT work. We do NOT fix computers. We will NOT remove Grandma’s 37 spammy toolbars at the top of her Internet Explorer 6 window. Also, call me a “webmaster”. I dare you.


Is it possible to eat a Krispy Kreme donut in one bite?

Yep! Just don’t laugh while you’re attempting it though unless you want to shoot donut dough through your nose at all of your friends who are also participating in stupid human tricks.


According to those “Which TV character are you most like?” online quizzes, which TV character are you most like?

Apparently, I’m most like Marty Byrde from the television show, Ozark. I guess I can see some similarities. I’m somewhat mild-mannered, very analytical, logical, looking before I leap, and so on. But the whole organized crime, money laundering, murder, and other very illegal activities…. yeah, not so much. I think your quiz is wrong, Internet!


What is your favorite old-school arcade game?

Definitely the change machine. You’d put a dollar bill in, and four quarters would come out. Everyone’s a winner! Really though, I’d have to go with Out Run. I played this game sooooo many times, that it basically taught me how to drive. The only difference between driving in the game vs. driving in real life is that I have yet to acquire that cherry red Ferrari Testarossa.


What common spelling/grammar error makes you rage inside?

Let’s talk about the word “mischievous”. Three syllables: mis-chə-vəs. There is no “i” or “e” or “ee” or “ie” or “ei” after that “v”. So why do so many people turn it into 4-syllables by saying mis-chē-vē-əs? I am bothered.


If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Hmm… so many good options… Bacon? Donuts? Cheese? Burgers? Cake? I feel like this is a flawed question because if I were to eat only one food for the rest of my life, I’d probably get sick of that food fairly quickly. So let’s just talk about my favorite food at this particular moment in time. The answer is buffalo chicken pizza from Jo-Jo’s Famous New York Pizza. Will it give me some wicked heartburn 2 hours after consumption? Yep! Do I care? Nope! It’s THAT good, people.


What is your favorite The Price Is Right pricing game?

A lot of folks will probably tell you that Plinko is their favorite The Price Is Right game. Plinko’s a good one, sure, but there are lots of other contenders: Race Game, Hole In One (or Two), Dice Game, Cliff Hangers, and so on, and so on. I’m going to have to go with Punch-a-Bunch though. Before Plinko was born, Punch-a-Bunch was The Price Is Right’s “BIG MONEY” game, giving the contestant a chance to win $10,000. (Back in those days, $10,000 was much more preferable to winning a $2,000 Datsun!) As a kid, I just loved the punchboard itself, letting the contestant punch their selections, and of course, good ol’ Bob Barker revealing the dollar amounts that the contestant won (or didn’t win).


Abba, Ace of Base, Europe, or Roxette?

How dare you?! That’s like asking me to tell you who my favorite child is. The nerve! The gall!….Europe. Europe is my favorite child.

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About the author:

Christopher Rhines

Partner, Director of Development

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Christopher is the Director of Development and one of the partners at Torx. In addition to keeping Torx's Richmond office firing on all cylinders, he can often be found deep in the trenches, building custom content management systems and WordPress-powered websites. He still remembers how to write Basic computer programs on Apple IIs and Commodore 64s.