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If Taylor Swift sang about bad user experience design

Posted on February 3, 2017

Ten of Taylor’s angstiest anthems, reimagined as ballads about those websites that never called you back and broke your heart.

1. Are we out of the woods yet? Because this page is taking forever to load 

Looking at the past, user expectations were simple
We suffered slow dial-up speeds, I remember
But now the internet is fast
And attentions spans don’t last
‘Cause we’re all busy (we’re so busy)
Just want to give your page a glance
But we won’t give your site a chance
The pinwheel keeps spinning, spinning, spinning



2. I knew you were trouble when your site wasn’t mobile

So shame on you ’cause
I only visit sites that work on my smartphone
And I’m bouncing now, oh



3. I’ve got a blank space baby, please write your name, email and phone number

“Nice to meet you, where you been?
Join our email subscription here
So we can bother you again”
Saw your pop-up and I thought
Oh my God, leave me be
I’m a person, not a lead
Please let me browse privately



4. This unsecured site is treacherous

This payment portal is reckless
This online transaction is treacherous
And I, I, I don’t trust it



5. This is the last time I’m searching for this 

Clicking through every link on your list
Your navigation menu has me asking why
Can’t I find what I need in the blink of an eye, eye, eye



6. You’re not sorry for your lame content, no no no

You don’t have to email anymore
I won’t click on your links
This is the last straw
Because your marketing stinks



7. Baby now we’ve got bad blood

Now we got problems
And I don’t think we can solve ’em
Because your website was built in Flash
And the usability is terrible, hey!



8. Tell me why I can’t find your contact info

I tried to call, I took a shot
Your number should be on your site, but it’s not
You should show pictures, and employees’ names
But your stock photo shortcuts make your business look lame



9. We are never getting back together, because your user experience is terrible

You could talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
But your business isn’t even on social media so good luck



10. Why you gotta be so mean?

Someday, I’ll be shopping on a site that’s mobile-friendly
And all you’re ever gonna be is unresponsive.



For your sake, we sincerely hope that your website provides users with a positive experience. But if it doesn’t, help is available. Just fill out the form below or give us a call at 804-577-8679